Autumn Writing

We have been learning to make our writing more interesting. To do this we have been re-crafting our writing. We used a describe map which helps plan our ideas in more detail. Our topic was Autumn.

Each time we used better adjectives. These are highlighted so we can see our writing get better. I also highlighted my favourite sentence in green. My favourite thing about writing like this is I get to change adjectives.

1 Attempt:Autumn is a season.in Autumn the weather gets colder because winter is coming.the leaves fall of the trees because they are dying.the leaves change colour because their raw and dead.the sun comes up later because the days get shorter and the nights get longer.the day gets colder because their is no sun.some animals hibernation because it gets colder.

2 Attempt:Autumn is a cold windy beautiful season.in Autumn it gets windy because winter is rising.the leaves fall of the beautiful rots of the trees because their dying.the beautiful leaves change colour because their raw and dead.the beautiful yellow sun come up later because the beautiful day gets shorter and the nights get longer.the days get colder and windy because their is no beautiful yellow sun.some beautiful animals hibernation because it getting colder.

3 Attempt:Autumn is a cold windy beautiful sun free season.in Autumn it gets windy because winter is rising up to the challenge.the beautiful colourful leaves fall of the beautiful rots of the trees because their dying in good faith.the beautiful leaves change colour like red and orange because their raw and dying.the beautiful yellow sun rises up later because the beautiful day gets shorter and the nice dark nights get longer.the days get colder and windy because their is no beautiful yellow sun to rise up.some beautiful animals hibernation because it getting colder for them.

4 Attempt:Autumn is a cold windy beautiful sun free colourful season.In Autumn it gets windy because winter is rising up to the challenge because its getting to hot.the beautiful colourful leaves fall and lay carefully on the ground of the beautiful hard rots of the trees because their dying in good faith.the beautiful colourful leaves change colour like red and orange because their raw and dying and going to come back in spring.the beautiful yellow sun rises up later for the challenge because the beautiful day gets shorter and the nice dark nights get longer then ever.the days get colder and windy because their is no beautiful yellow sun to rise up so it has to wait.some beautiful animals hibernation because it getting colder for them and they have to wait for spring.

5 Attempt:Autumn is a cold windy beautiful sun free colourful season becuase winter is coming.In Autumn it gets as windy as a tornado because winter is rising up to the challenge because its getting to hot and worm.the beautiful colourful leaves fall and lay carefully on the ground relaxing of the beautiful hard rots of the trees because their dying.the beautiful colourful leaves change colour like red and orange because their raw and dying because they have had a good life and going to come back in spring.the beautiful yellow circle sun rises up later for the challenge because the beautiful day gets shorter and the nice dark nights get longer then ever.the days get colder and windy because their is no beautiful yellow circle sun to rise up so it has to wait.some beatful animals hibernation because it getting colder for them and they have to wait for spring so it gets warmer.